6 Signs the Apocalypse Cometh
Shortcuts to obesity, paid shamelessness, D.C.’s constitutional right to bitch-slapping, and a potent antidote to it all.
It’s been the year of tectonic shifts, good and bad. 
A very real recession is upon us, a presidential election just made history in more ways than we can count, and the climate crisis has reached catastrophic proportions. It seems like (almost) everything good and holy is falling apart.
But because the devil’s in the details, we’re seeing the signs of the apocalypse in all sorts of places — some serious, some not, but all a what-have-we-lived-to-see cultural forehead-slapper.
NO NEED TO GET OFF THE COUCH FOR PIZZA
You can now order it from your TiVo or right inside Facebook.
Because picking up the phone or typing a URL into your browser is too much work.
GUY KAWASAKI SWITCHES TO COMCAST
Yep, we don’t get it either.
POLITICIANS OUTDUMB THEIR ELECTORATE
Elected U.S. officials score 44% on a simple civic knowledge test.
The uninformed commonfolk who elected them score 49%.
PAYPERPOST INFESTS TWITTER
It’s not how we roll.
POLYGAMISTS BAN GAY MARRIAGE
CheckDon’t get us wrong, we have a couple of Mormon friends who are among the coolest people we’ve ever met. Which makes it all the harder to reconcile why their kind would try to deny others the basic human right to happiness they’ve been afforded themselves. Some, ahem, multiple times.
BEGGARS FLY PRIVATE JETS
Big Three auto execs fly private jets — 3 separate ones — from Detroit to D.C. for their hearings before the Senate and House to beg for an additional $25 billion of taxpayer money, get bitch-slapped for ridiculously timed display of corporate excess.
Oh snap.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Yep, the world has gone mad. But we like to think that for every preposterous, shameless, or downright idiotic drop of apocalyptic poison, there’s an even more powerful antidote.
6 SIGNS THE APOCALYPSE GOETH AWAY
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
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Yer goddamn right we can!! Now SHOO APOCALYPSE! SHOO!!
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