Posts Tagged ‘bizarre’
24
Nov
2008
6 Signs the Apocalypse Cometh
Shortcuts to obesity, paid shamelessness, D.C.’s constitutional right to bitch-slapping, and a potent antidote to it all.
It’s been the year of tectonic shifts, good and bad. 
A very real recession is upon us, a presidential election just made history in more ways than we can count, and the climate crisis has reached catastrophic proportions. It seems like (almost) everything good and holy is falling apart.
But because the devil’s in the details, we’re seeing the signs of the apocalypse in all sorts of places — some serious, some not, but all a what-have-we-lived-to-see cultural forehead-slapper.
NO NEED TO GET OFF THE COUCH FOR PIZZA
You can now order it from your TiVo or right inside Facebook.
Because picking up the phone or typing a URL into your browser is too much work.
GUY KAWASAKI SWITCHES TO COMCAST
Yep, we don’t get it either.
POLITICIANS OUTDUMB THEIR ELECTORATE
Elected U.S. officials score 44% on a simple civic knowledge test.
The uninformed commonfolk who elected them score 49%.
PAYPERPOST INFESTS TWITTER
It’s not how we roll.
POLYGAMISTS BAN GAY MARRIAGE
CheckDon’t get us wrong, we have a couple of Mormon friends who are among the coolest people we’ve ever met. Which makes it all the harder to reconcile why their kind would try to deny others the basic human right to happiness they’ve been afforded themselves. Some, ahem, multiple times.
BEGGARS FLY PRIVATE JETS
Big Three auto execs fly private jets — 3 separate ones — from Detroit to D.C. for their hearings before the Senate and House to beg for an additional $25 billion of taxpayer money, get bitch-slapped for ridiculously timed display of corporate excess.
Oh snap.
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Yep, the world has gone mad. But we like to think that for every preposterous, shameless, or downright idiotic drop of apocalyptic poison, there’s an even more powerful antidote.
6 SIGNS THE APOCALYPSE GOETH AWAY
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
- Yes We Can.
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07
Aug
2008
Inner Kid Fodder
Cat herding, bionic lobsters, how to finally understand your mother, and why Ian likes the Over Under.
INNER KID FODDER
We work too much. We stress too much. We talk about politics and use words like “ecru.” It’s official: we’re adults. And we don’t like it. We’ve decided it’s time for an antidote: today, we’re all about the inner kid. Come on, climb into our treehouse.
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Lately, we’ve been getting hung up on the lack of a culture of appreciation. Whatever happened to pats on the back? Where did the random nicely-done’s go? It all seems to have died with the last gold star sticker we got from Mrs. Johnson in the 4th grade.
We need an intervention. And what better way to go about it than with merit badges for adults? The Boy Scouts have our back with a hefty collection ranging from the necessary (like the Adult Beverage Drinking Merit Badge) to the niche (like the Bald Growing Merit Badge) to the undeniably questionable (like the Fart Lighting (Blue Darts) Merit Badge.)
The Blogging Merit Badge, naturally, struck a chord with our kind and is consequently sold out. As is, curiously enough, the Cat Herding one.
We suspect the people from LOL Cats went to town on both.
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When we were little, we used to dream of setting the lobsters in the grocery store free. The closest we ever got involved a pair of meat scissors and a very, very disgruntled store employee yelling “Cleanup in aisle 6!!!” over the loudspeaker.
Imagine our delight at this chance to live the childhood dream vicariously through our new favorite hero: Bionic Lobster.
Try bisquing this one.
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We like to believe that even the stuffiest, most straight-laced adults have a mischievous kid still living inside. A kid who gets easily amused by goofy stuff that makes little to no sense by adult measures. And what better place to pull that kid out by the messy hair than over at Perpetual Kid?
This virtual warehouse of coolness tickles our mischief bone with goodies that inspire anything from a hearty chuckle to asking-for-trouble prank ideas. Some of our favorites: Pee & Poo plush duo, “The Ex” knife set, the Hillary Nutcracker, the Understand Your Mother Breath Spray, and the Whatever Wall Clock.
But, really, picking favorites margins on impossible — we’re like a kid in a candy store. Go ahead, see if you can do better.
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Unlike most kids, we used to love tying our shoelaces. We had our own technique we still use to this day, which frequently receives comments and eyebrow-raises from friends. (Seriously, people: tying the laces behind the tongue makes more sense on so many levels.)
Which is why we dig Ian’s Shoelace Site — an impressive library covering 34 of the mathematically-proven 2 trillion ways to lace a shoe, complete with instructions, handy diagrams and even a legend showing technique complexity, speed of lacing, comfort level and more.
The methods range from the expected, like the Over Under, to the uber-cool, like Checkboard Lacing, the site’s most popular.
Our favorite: Lattice Lacing.
So: how do you lace?
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