Brain Pickings

Posts Tagged ‘Edith Windsor’

10 JANUARY, 2014

Edith Windsor on Love and the Truth about Equality, Illustrated

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“If you really care about the quality of somebody’s life as much as you care about the quality of your own…”

The question of what love is endures as one of our deepest inquiries, as individuals and as a culture. Among the greatest love stories in modern history — in individual human terms, but perhaps most importantly in political terms — is that of Edith Windsor and Thea Spier.

After TIME magazine nominated Edith Windsor for Person of the Year 2013, they produced an impossibly moving short documentary (below) about Edie and Thea and what their story reveals about the meaning of love and marriage. Edie’s powerful words at the end of the film inspired the latest installment in the Brain Pickings Artist Series — another collaboration with Debbie Millman, who previously brought her signature hand-lettering to Edie’s historic phone call with President Obama.

Painstakingly made by hand with gold leaf and felt letters on hand-quilted felt, the artwork is available on Society6 as a print, tote, stretched canvas, and (yes, really) pillow, with 100% of the proceeds benefiting SAGE, a nonprofit providing support and care for LGBTQ senior citizens.

Watch the documentary below, and try not to sob:

See more of the Brain Pickings Artist Series here, and don’t miss Debbie Millman’s Self-Portrait as Your Traitor, one of the best art and design books of 2013.

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07 OCTOBER, 2013

Edie Windsor, Patron Saint of Modern Love

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“The more we see each other, the more we love what we see.”

At the 2013 New Yorker Festival, I had the existential thrill of meeting the magnificent and humbling Edith Windsor — beloved patron saint of modern love, who invested years of legal battle and decades of personal struggle in making marriage equality a constitutional reality for all of us, and subject of the soul-stirring 2010 documentary Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement. During her conversation with the New Yorker’s Ariel Levy — whose beautiful profile of Windsor remains a masterpiece of magazine journalism, an absolute must-read, and a lamentable case of paywalls robbing culture of culture — 84-year-old Edie spoke with remarkable wit, wisdom, and bravery about her journey and her monumental win for universal love as she was losing the love of her life. Thea Spyer, her spouse of 42 years, who died in 2009 and her death imposed an outrageous estate tax of $363,053 on Edie, which precipitated the landmark United States v. Windsor case that resulted in overturning DOMA.

Portrait of Edith Windsor by Lisa Congdon for our Reconstructionists project. Click image for details.

Here are some of the most memorable highlights from the talk.

On being gay and in love in the 1950s:

It looked impossible.

On the elegant humanity of how acceptance happens:

The more we see each other, the more we love what we see.

On reconciling rejection from family and friends — something Edie knows a grim lot about, given her own homophobic sister didn’t speak to her for thirty years:

You just have to live your life, and the people who can’t catch up, can’t catch up.

On the rewards of her pioneering role in the LGBT rights movement, despite the personal tragedy:

I can’t think of a better position to be in and I can’t think of a better life for myself to have. There’s so much love and such a sense of community.

Her relationship advice to all couples, gay, straight, and varied — a wonderful addition to history’s greatest wisdom on love:

Don’t postpone joy.

But the moving moment, for me, came when I got a chance to ask Edie a question about love and mortality. Her answer, simple and honest and immutably human, was pure goosebumps:

Q: My partner is older than I am, so the prospect of mortality, of eventual and inevitable grief, always haunts the back of my mind. How do you keep love alive after death?

A: I sometimes wish I knew how not to.

Thank you, Edie, for everything.

Try not to tear up at this trailer for Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement:

Complement with Windsor’s Reconstructionist profile and Debbie Millman’s illustrated account of Edie’s historic phone call with President Obama.

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01 JULY, 2013

Down with DOMA: Edith Windsor’s Historic Call with President Obama, Illustrated by Debbie Millman

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“Hello, who am I talking to?”

UPDATE: Now available as a print.

Shortly after the U.S. Supreme Court deemed DOMA unconstitutional June 26, 2013 and made marriage equality a reality, reconstructionist Edith “Edie” Windsor, who had bravely pushed her case through the justice system to the very top and eventually changed the law that had subjected her bereavement to unacceptable injustice, received a phone call from President Barack Obama, delivering the happy, historic news. Obama himself had spoken up against DOMA over the course of Windsor’s years-long case and proclaimed the ruling a “victory for American democracy” after the Supreme Court decision was announced.

In our latest collaboration, modern sage, author, artist, and interviewer extraordinaire Debbie Millman captures Windsor’s heartfelt response when the President called, per the New Yorker’s report, in her signature style of artfully abstracted hand-lettered poetics:

De-abstracted transcript:

Hello, who am I talking to? Oh, Barack Obama? I wanted to thank you. I think your coming out for us made such a difference throughout the country.

See the first two installments of Debbie’s Brain Pickings Artist Series here and here, and celebrate Edie’s extraordinary story here.

Official White House photograph of Barack Obama by Pete Souza

Donating = Loving

Bringing you (ad-free) Brain Pickings takes hundreds of hours each month. If you find any joy and stimulation here, please consider becoming a Supporting Member with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good dinner:





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Brain Pickings has a free weekly newsletter. It comes out on Sundays and offers the week’s best articles. Here’s what to expect. Like? Sign up.