How the hamster wheel of achievement and approval can cheat us.
In culling the greatest commencement addresses of all time, I wondered whether the convocation speech genre might be the modern secular sermon of our time. But imparting life-advice that touches on the spiritual without veering off into the contrived and the aphoristic is a rare feat.
Several years ago, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia pediatric physician Allison Ballantine addressed the class of graduating medical students at my alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania, where she taught. Ballantine sent a transcript of her commencement speech to the wonderful Tara Brach, who read an excerpt from it on an episode of her indispensable mindfulness podcast.
Coming from anyone, Ballantine’s words are a simple yet powerful reminder that unless we live with presence, we aren’t living at all. Coming from someone whose daily task is to protect the sanctity of life against the demands of death, they are nothing short of an awakening:
We become so accustomed to life on the hamster wheel of achievement and approval that we just forget. We scamper on and on, chasing the ephemeral promises of “someday…” or “if only I…”
Growing up, I learned a hard lesson about how that hamster wheel could cheat us.
My father was a pediatric surgeon, with tremendous enthusiasm and drive to succeed that encompassed his work, his family, and his friendships. He was a huge influence in my life — he taught me the value of hard work and the satisfaction of a job done right. But on a winter day when he was driving home from the hospital where he worked, his car slid on a patch of black ice, hitting a telephone pole on the driver’s side, killing him instantly.
He was forty-eight and I was eighteen.
This … serves as a reminder that I cannot live my life on the hamster wheel, waiting for “someday…” or “if only I…”
What you have is in the present moment, and it is unfathomably precious.